I got a PA, parenting coach and home manager for free

“Haven’t you asked ChatGPT to parent that for you?” my friend asked as I reeled off the list of child-rearing tasks and household chores still to do before the weekend was out.

Use it to help with homework? “Definitely.” Dinner? “Obviously – tell it what’s in the fridge.” Tuesday’s after-school schedule? “Easy.” (Great, because “easy” is one word I would never use to describe that task for me.)

It’s a conversation cropping up more and more among friends, because for time-short, money-short parents with a perpetually mounting run of tabs open in their brains, AI is sliding in with endless capacity to be a household help, logistics focused co-parent and all-round taskmaster.

While it can cast a dark and worrying shadow professionally as a freelance writer, hacking all the ways in which it can alleviate the load at home is, it transpires, alarmingly easy.

Bonnie Miller, 38, a full-time business consultant – and that friend who has been doing this with the kind of daily regularity as brushing teeth – is a single mum of two boys, three and 12. She said: “It’s basically a cross between a PA, a parenting coach and a home management assistant. I ask it what I need in the moment, and it adapts to my tone, the kids, our plans, and my day.“

True to form, when I asked her what she used it for most she said: “I can do one better than that…” and asked ChatGPT to summarise all the ways she’s been using it day-to-day to ease the load at home.

It spat out a list that began with managing her youngest’s allergies – asking about possible triggers and gathering advice on whether to use air purifiers, dehumidifiers or change carpets – and testing her eldest on his school work by turning revision material into quiz questions or rewording topics so he can more easily understand them. She has been as specific as: “What do I need if we’re camping in Snowdonia with a toddler?”

The app summarised: “You use ChatGPT as a genuinely practical tool for parenting and running your household — not just for novelty, but to save time, reduce mental load, and get things done quickly.”

It went on by listing how she taps into it to handle bedtime anxiety, seeking new distraction techniques or routines to calm her son when he is struggling to settle and she still has a work deadline to return to; managing finances by creating three-year outlooks, working out any surplus income, forecasting costs like nursery and school expenses and preparing for big milestones like buying a house; and simplifying life admin including “writing polite but firm responses to your letting agent” and organising weekly schedules and task lists.

For many parents its usage is as simple as meal and snack ideas if they’re low on ingredients, inspiration or just need to use up what’s in the cupboards for tomorrow’s packed lunch. Or brain-dumping to relieve the mental and therefore emotional load of balancing everyone’s needs and admin; in return AI sends more structured to-do lists.

Dr Emma Svanberg, a clinical psychologist working with parents and founder of The Psychology Cooperative, explained: “For many parents, AI is becoming a kind of pressure valve – offering structure, support and relief when life feels close to boiling over. It can bring clarity and a clear structure when your own brain is foggy with overload.”

Svanberg says it has the capacity to support psychological wellbeing akin to a coach or pocket personal assistant. But despite its predilection for sending motivational messages reminding busy parents they’re doing a great job, she warns: “It’s not a substitute for emotional support but it can create breathing space – lowering the heat so you have a bit of time to settle.”

Another friend Kate Moryoussef, 44, a mum of four kids aged ten to 19 and AI adopter, who hosts the ADHD Women’s Wellbeing podcast says it is a godsend for both her busy family responsibilities and her ADHD mind.

“I tell it what each of my kids likes and doesn’t like to eat and what their fussy meal habits are and it gives me meal plans I would never have thought of that feed everyone.

“I use it to find and plan walks and day trips for the family; it’s delivered me a whole summer holiday itinerary so that everyone gets to do something they want and keep it harmonious.

“When we had a big family celebration earlier this year with cousins, kids and grown-ups of all ages it gave me easy ideas to keep everyone entertained and fed through the day. And I’ve used it to help me understand my teenager’s maths homework so I can help her.”

Kate is clear that for women like her AI has saviour potential. “I work a lot with neurodivergent women whose executive functioning and working memory deficit already makes daily life feel exhausting.

“In an era where parents, generally, feel so overwhelmed and overburdened AI has arrived and can take some of this intense pressure we’re shouldering. It’s like a scaffold.

“It gives us an opportunity to ask it absolutely anything then gives me instant help and all the answers where I would have spent hours researching, using time. The biggest bonus is that then gives me time back for myself.

“I don’t think any parent should see it as a failure. It’s my new best friend.”

Dr Svanberg recognises the inclination that parents might have to feel guilty about ‘outsourcing’ tasks to their home screen: “Guilt often creeps up because we’ve internalised the idea that good parenting means doing everything ourselves – and doing it ‘naturally’. There’s also understandable worry about screen time, tech dependence, and the environmental impact of AI.

“But using tools that reduce burnout isn’t about cutting corners – it’s about finding ways not to break under pressure. And a less overwhelmed, more resourced parent is far more likely to make thoughtful, sustainable decisions for their family and the world.”

We can be grateful for the additional support while using it thoughtfully, says Svanberg who equates the mental load and emotional labour of parenting to a boiling pot where remembering to sign a form, stay calm through a tantrum, plan dinner or reply to a message all add to the heat. Seeking alleviation “isn’t personal failure – it’s the cost of carrying too much, too quietly, for too long,” she adds.

And so, in the absence of nannies, chefs and executive assistants on speed dial, a new mother’s help, at the touch of a button, is already finding itself a welcome addition to families. Indeed, for parents, hacking the household load could just become AI’s crowning moment.