One person in a couple often takes the reins when managing the money. But this terrible tale of caution I’m about to share is why I’m a huge advocate of everyone being involved in reviewing the household budget.
This woman – we’ll call her Sharee – was on the brink of an exciting new chapter. She was days away from finalising the purchase of a new business – a milestone moment that symbolised her hard work, determination and ambition, after a decade of building her career in sales.
But then, a startling phone call changed everything.
The current owner of the business Sharee was buying called to inform her of an unusual request. She explained that Sharee’s husband had been in touch, asking to delay the business sale by six months.
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Alarm bells instantly rang for Sharee. Why would her husband intervene without consulting her? Why would he go behind her back? And why did he want to delay the sale in the first place?
“I think you need to talk to your husband,” the seller said. “Or perhaps call your bank…”
Feeling sick to her stomach, Sharee drove straight to the bank. What she uncovered next was shocking.
Her husband had drained all of her accounts. Years’ and years’ worth of savings were gone. The mortgage was in default, as no payments had been made in six months. On top of that, new joint credit cards had been opened in her name, and her husband had racked up $40,000 in debt.
Sharee’s story underscores why everyone, and every woman in particular, should be tuned into her financial situation.
It also gives some context as to why a recent Finder survey of 1,096 respondents revealed that 1 in 5 Australians (21 per cent) – equivalent to 4.2 million people – think lying to your partner about finances is worse than physically cheating.
Finder research also shows that 1.6 million Aussies have a hidden bank account.
I’m not sure if this is a reason for celebration or concern – if you’re in an abusive situation trying to claw your way out, a hidden account could be a lifeline – but it definitely highlights how crucial access to money is for all of us.
It gives us options and choices, at times when we might be faced with the toughest choices of all.
This was the case for Sharee, who found that the next steps were a complete nightmare.
After she discovered the extent of her husband’s betrayal – which was fuelled by a devastating gambling addiction – she ended the marriage. She then had to rebuild her entire life, literally from scratch.
Faced with a mountain of debt and no savings at all, she had to back out of the deal to buy the business, and find a new job – as she’d left her old one to work in the new business – and sell the family home, which was now in default.
Through sheer grit and determination, she was able to get herself out of the situation without filing for bankruptcy.
But her credit file took a hit for a few years, and she had to rebuild it all while co-parenting her small children with the ex-husband who had dumped her in this mess.
This heartbreaking story isn’t just about one woman’s tragedy; it’s a wake-up call for all women. Too often, financial matters are left in the hands of one partner in a relationship, and that can be a really convenient solution. But it carries risk.
Everyone should have a basic understanding of your household finances. This doesn’t mean micromanaging every transaction, but introducing a few simple habits like these can make a world of difference:
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Have a monthly money meeting: Spend 20 minutes each month looking over bank account balances and transactions so you understand what you’re spending, where your money goes and what your money leaks are.
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Understand your major financial obligations: If you have a mortgage, you should know the basics: what’s the interest rate? How long do you have left on the loan? What are your monthly repayments?
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Get involved in budgeting: Even if your partner manages all the bills (and likes to do it!), get involved in planning and tracking household expenses so you’re aware of your ongoing obligations..
No one should ever have to rebuild their life from nothing, especially if that rebuild is happening because choices were made for them.
Taking even small steps toward financial awareness can ensure that, no matter what happens, you’ll always have the tools to take care of yourself.
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